It’s OK that you landed here. You’re young and you’re learning how to navigate a crazy world. Everyone makes a big mess of things when they’re in their 20s. “I made a lot of mistakes, I made a lot of mistakes,” Sufjan Stevens sings over and over at the end of “Chicago,” and his melancholy is laced with a redemptive kind of forgiveness. Forgive yourself for fucking up, and know that you will be loved and adored and heard and treasured as a friend. You will have everything you’ve ever wanted.
But you need to stay sober and believe in yourself like it’s your job. Now is the time to cultivate your sense of gratitude for small things. Walk outside, in the early morning chill, in the pouring rain, and tell yourself: I am fully alive, I am eminently lovable, and my life is just beginning.